Love Doesn't Need Memories
by Trufreak89
Summary: Sydney’s lonely on Valentines Day, until a package is delivered reminding her of how significant the day really is. Nongraphic femslash, this is lesbian romance so if you don't like it don't read it, just don't be arrogant enough to flame me for it


**Title: **Love doesn't need memories

**Summary:** Sydney's lonely on Valentines Day, until a package is delivered reminding her of how significant the day really is. (Non-graphic F/F)

**Rating: **PG

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Sydney or anything related to Alias.

It was the thirteenth of February and only four hours until Valentine's Day. The day for lovers and couples and all those happy people who have someone. Sydney Bristow was not one of those people. She sat nursing a beer in her empty apartment thinking off past Valentines Days.

The one she'd spent with Noah had been wonderful. He'd cooked a meal for them and they'd sat by a log fire talking about anything but work until the early hours of the morning.

Then there was Danny. He'd decorated their bed in rose petals and filled the room with candles. He'd told her endlessly that night that he loved her and wanted to be with her until death. That was only eight months before he died.

She and Vaughn had never spent Valentines Day together. They'd danced around their emotions for two years and when they were finally together they didn't have long enough to make it to their first Valentine's Day together.

She wondered who she had spent Valentines Day with last year as Julia Thorne; perhaps it had been Simon Walker. She felt silent tears roll down her cheeks as she mourned the loss of love in her life.

Her eyes darted open as she heard a knock at the front door. Glancing at her watch she discovered it was a little after midnight. She'd drifted off for four hours.

She had her gun tucked into her jeans at the back and opened the door cautiously. A smiling deliveryman holding a package greeted her.

"Hi. Package for a…Julia Thorne." At the mention of her old alias Sydney's eyes widened in shock and she looked at the man as though he'd told her she was going to die. "Is that you? 'Cos it's to this address. I was told to specifically bring it a little after midnight." He explained. Sydney took the passage and signed for it saying she would give it to Julia, her _roommate_.

With shaking hands Sydney took the package to the couch where she had sat earlier and laid it on the coffee table, staring at it intently. If it was for Julia Thorne then it was from someone who knew of her old alias and knew where Sydney lived.

She should have taken it to the CIA for inspection, it could have been an explosive or some sort of biological agent, but she was curious as to what it contained and lately she had little care for her life, after all she'd 'died' two years ago and lost it, she shouldn't have been back anyway.

When she opened the small brown package she found a videotape in it, a letter and a smaller box with a note on it saying to watch the video before opening it. She popped the tape into the VCR and watched as the screen went from a mass of white dots to Sydney with blonde hair.

"If you're watching this then it's Valentines Day today and I'm home again, back with the CIA with no memory of the last two years. I shouldn't be doing this, telling you…me…what I need to, but it's important. I know myself, with or without memories of the past two years I'll know there's something been missing in my life, something I left behind in the two years of being Julia Thorne."

"Erasing my memory was the hardest thing in the world, not because I didn't want to forget Julia Thorne, but because I had to forget who Julia Thorne loved, who I love. We were both deep cover agents in the Covenant working for the CIA, we met on Valentines day on a mission the covenant sent us on, and today will be two years to the day since we met and I know I'll still love them, deep down I won't be able to get over them. I asked my lover to send this to you, and include a letter about how they felt now that I was no longer Julia Thorne, please read it before you watch the rest of the tape."

Sydney paused the tape and looked at the letter. "Dear Sydney, I have spent the last six months calling you Sydney, and it has been hard not to call you Julia. A lot of things have been hard, seeing you without you really seeing who I am as the worst, seeing you so unhappy without love, without me to protect you like I used to. You're not the same as you were, you've lost your desire for life and adrenaline, the rush you got from being one of the good guys is gone and I know if you let me back in your life I can show you that again. We can be happy together Sydney, being the real us without hiding from the Covenant or the CIA, or Michael Vaughn. Please know that I will always love you no matter how you react to this information."

Sydney knew that her old self was right and the sender of the letter was too, she'd lost her value for life and felt hollow inside, empty of something, she'd thought it was Vaughn but deep down inside she knew that was wrong.

She pressed the play button on her remote and watched as Julia Thorne began to speak again. "I know I'll make the right decision, because I know how much I value their love, they keep me sane and alive and I know I will always love them. Come here Sweetie." The Sydney on the tape smiled as someone moved into the picture frame and sat down on her lap. Sydney's eyes widened as the blonde sitting on Julia's knee turned and smiled at the camera.

"You love her Sydney, even without your memory you can't help but love her." The tape ended and the screen went back to the commotion of white dots again, Sydney rewound the tape slightly and paused it as the blonde was facing the camera. She had never seen herself and the blonde so happy before.

She picked up the smaller package and opened it to find a ring and a picture frame. The picture frame held a picture of a blonde Sydney sitting with her arms around her lover as they sat on a picnic blanket and smiled lovingly at the camera. Tears of confusion, anger and something else spilled from her eyes as she put the picture down to pick up the ring. It was silver and held a Celtic pattern on it; on the underneath there was an inscription 'Two bodies…'

Sydney sat and stared at the ring until she reached a decision. She pulled on some jeans and a shirt and grabbed her car keys and a cell phone. The call she made was brief and to the point. "The old steel mil out of town, ASAP."

She only waited a few minutes before her former lover arrived in her car. She looked apprehensive to get out of the safety of her car as she saw Sydney staring absently in to the distance. She was nervous as to what Sydney would say to her. She knew of their love again and so everything had changed. They weren't just colleagues, or slight enemies, they were former lovers, except they'd never ended their relationship and after two years Lauren feared that she would officially lose Sydney.

She stood warily a few feet away from Sydney and waited for her to turn around. When she did turn around Lauren's heart broke. Her eyes were full of contempt and disgust at the woman who stood before her. "Sydney I…"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I…"

"For six months you've acted like the dutiful wife to Vaughn, made him love you and taken him from me, and you never wanted him."

Lauren's heart broke in two; once again this was all about Vaughn. "I'm sorry, you gave me clear instructions…"

"NO!" Sydney shouted as tears welled up in her eyes for the third time that night. "She told you! I'm not Julia Thorne, I can't remember being her…"

"I understand…"

"For six months I have walked around with a whole in my heart, and no one would let me remember why I felt like that. I thought it was for Vaughn, but it wasn't."

Lauren was taken aback as Sydney's lips met hers and her arms wrapped around Lauren, a place they hadn't been for far too long. "You didn't let me remember Sweetie." Lauren used her thumb to lightly brush away Sydney's tears.

"I couldn't. You know that, but it doesn't mean I didn't want to. I've never stopped loving you Sydney." She saw the ring that now sat proudly on Sydney's hand and smiled as she pulled out a silver chain from around her neck, which had a necklace hanging from it. "I have worn this for a year, since last Valentines Day, it was when we gave them to each other." Lauren explained and showed her the inscription on her ring. "…one soul."

"I love you." It had been six months since Lauren had heard those words from the right person. "I want you so badly…but I can't hurt Vaughn…" Lauren shook her head and held onto Sydney as she tried to pull away.

"I was forced by the Covenant to marry Michael Vaughn, the CIA knew full well of what I had to do. The priest who performed our marriage ceremony was Weiss. The marriage is a fake Sydney; we've had to keep up the façade while I'm undercover in the Covenant. I've had to do things for my job that I'm not proud of, but I love you Sydney and only you."

Sydney's gaze fell to the floor. "Vaughn doesn't know about us does he?" Lauren shook her head. "Only Kendall, Dixon and your father know…"

"Dad?" Sydney gasped. Lauren nodded and smiled.

"He's stopped me from telling you all this a few times in the past few months, I owe him a lot. I finished my deep cover work today, the CIA pulled me out to resume my duties as a CIA field agent, I was never NSC. I was the agent who took your place in the CIA."

Sydney leaned into the warmth of Lauren's body and let her tears flow freely onto Lauren's sleeve. "We can't be together. Even without the Covenant, there's still Vaughn, and…" Lauren silenced her with a kiss and then moved her head so they were nose to nose.

"We've worked before Sydney. We were alive and we were true to ourselves and that's all that matters. I still love you and you love me back, nothing else is important."

Sydney watched as Lauren removed her wedding ring and replaced it with the ring Sydney had given her. She offered her hand to Sydney who took it after a moment of apprehension.

They walked to Sydney's car and sat on the bonnet holding each other for the first time in six months, waiting peacefully for hours for Dawn to break over the day of lovers.

As Dawn approached Sydney watched Lauren sleeping peacefully and felt a part of herself had returned to her, the part she'd been missing since she'd returned to her former life, Lauren had been Sydney's life as Julia Thorne's and even without knowing it Sydney had need that part of her former life to be in the one she now lived.

The sun peeked from earth and sent a golden glow over the car and the two women, highlighting Lauren's blonde hair and making her look like an angel sleeping peacefully beside the woman who kept her safe.

As Lauren's eyes fluttered open Sydney bent down to kiss her and truly smiled for the first time in months. "Happy Valentines Day sweetie."

End.

**A/N: **This is actually my first Syd/Lauren story that has Sydney returning Lauren's love. I usually write angsty unrequited stuff, but I thought I'd try a change.


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